2.17: The Shinohara Sister Smackdown

2.17: The Shinohara Sister Smackdown

She threw a broom at my face and the bristles struck it, leaving little red marks, a little trickle of blood leaking down to my upper lip.

“OW! Why would you hit someone you barely know like that—?!” I yelled my teeth clenching.

“You want my legacy, impostor? You want to steal my destiny from me? Fucking fight for it! I’m going to absolutely trash you.”

She grabbed a folding chair resting by Rui’s kotatsu… a little folding thing that rested on the ground that provided back support while sitting on the floor.

“That’s MY anime-binging chair, YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH!” Rui’s voice rang out, indignantly. “It was my only companion after Dad died! DON’T!!!”

Aika flipped it open and swung it downward like she was a wrestler in her ring.

I dodged… just barely, the wind of her swipe whistling through the air and the chair crashed into Rui’s TV stand with enough force to knock over the entire stack of DVDs, miraculously missing the TV itself.

Rui’s next shriek reached ultrasonic range.

“What the HELL, AIKA?! THAT WAS AUTOGRAPHED BY THE VAs—!!” She screamed and ran at Aika and it was Aika’s turn to evade the broad and savage strokes from Rui’s bat. She’d finally had enough. She screamed, full oni mode, practically foaming at the mouth as she lashed out. Aika sidestepped each of her swings expertly, staying just outside of reach, but despite that, she started sweating.

Aika picked up Rui’s futon.

“Time for the baby to get a nappie.” She ran circles around Rui with it and quickly wound it around her. Rui screamed and twitched and fell over, thrashing.

Then she rammed me backward, slamming her butt into me like a Street Wrangler character that Reiko loved to use against me. I saw a flash of her panties creeping up her curvy butt as her backside struck me and sent me flying.

“Hyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!” Aika exhaled loudly in a martial arts shout.

“DAMN YOU! I’M NOT A BABY! I’m your OLDER SISTER!” Rui screeched, trying to free herself from her soft prison, flopping like a beached salmon. 

Everyone froze and stared.

Aika shrugged and planted a foot on Rui’s rolled up body laughing.

“You still look like a freaking twelve year old. How do you even do that?! Pft… Too bad you weren’t born with my perfect genes.” She laughed, full on villainess style, her arms crossed under her big breasts, emphasizing them.

Rui shriveled up.

Aika then kicked Rui futon and all to a corner effortlessly.

“Now that the midget’s out of the way, how about we get serious?” Aika said, arching an eyebrow at me. “If that’s all you’ve got, it’s already over.”

Ume winced. “Oof… To think that Aika is her ‘little’ sister.” She was obviously not just referring to her height, but also her obvious assets.

Natalia-sama nodded gravely. “Poor RuiRui… Come to me…” She hurried to Rui and unwrapped her gently and gently cuddled a shocked and sobbing Rui.

“She’s the only one I could never beat!” Rui wailed and cried into Natalia-sama’s breasts.

Aika whirled around, ignoring Rui’s miraculous rescue with her typical obliviousness and snatched one of Rui’s prized baseballs from her memorabilia shelf, and pitched it at me with professional accuracy.

“I don’t care… I don’t care anymore. Uwahhhh! Make it all go AWAY!” Rui screamed and cried into Natalia-sama’s breasts.

I wanted to do that too. The baseball moved so fast, over 160.934kph. It struck me dead center in the center of my forehead and bounced off to hit Akuchi’s butt as she tried to squirm deeper under the kotatsu.

“Eeeeek! I hate her! She scares me! Make her go away!” Akuchi screamed as her tail puffed like cotton candy.

Aika pointed at me. This was a silent declaration that she would completely destroy me with her next attack. Her eyes were sharp.

Ume yelled, “Sumire… Fight! Don’t just keep dodging! Don’t play the part of a pathetic striking dummy… Fight, fight, fight!~” She shocked me when she slipped into familiar movements. Her hands went to either side of her head and flapped open and closed as she swayed her hips left to right.

CARAMELLDANSEN

And she started singing. Aika froze, as though she sensed some of what was happening. Ume was pouring her heart out, singing Caramelldansen for me, shaking her hips and her face was so adorable, her pearly fangies hanging out the corners of her mouth.

Do-do-do-oo, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Vi undrar är ni redo att vara med
Armarna upp nu ska ni få se
Kom igen

Vem som helst kan vara med (Vara med)
Så rör på era fötter (Oa-a-a)
Och vicka era höfter (O-la-la-la)
Gör som vi

Till denna melodi (Oh-wa-ohwa-ah)
Dansa med oss
Klappa era händer
Gör som vi gör
Ta några steg åt vänster
Lyssna och lär
Missa inte chansen
Nu är vi här med…

Caramelldansen!!!

Something about the sight of her doing it alone, just for me… filled me with DETERMINATION!

FINE.

My eyes sharpened and I clenched my fists, gathering whatever shred of dignity remained.

Aika raised her fists lazily. “I see that you’re serious now. Come on then. Show me what you’ve got, discount oni.”

She rushed in again.

I panicked.
And slapped at her arm like I was shooing away an annoying pigeon.
It was super ineffective.

I tried to punch her and it landed… but struck like a soggy mochi against her shoulder.

Aika dead-stopped in motion. She looked at me in surprise and.... Blinked.

“That?” she said. “Is that all you have? All of your power? That was your special attack? You think THAT makes you worthy of being my father’s heir?”

…

She kicked me sharply in the shin.

“HIIIII—!!”

I jumped backward, tripping over a stack of manga, fell, rolled, and grabbed a random object to stabilize myself…

NO! This is one of Rui’s cherished possessions!

It was most likely her favorite mug.
It said, “Yuri or Bust!”

There were two anime characters kissing passionately with a heart frame around them.

Aika kicked it out of my hands like it was a soccer ball before I could set it down safely.

It shattered on the floor.

“NOOOOOOO—!” Rui collapsed, her thumb in her mouth as though she’d regressed in age. “MY PRECIOUS LIMITED-EDITION…!!! UWAHHHH!”

“There there… RuiRui…” Natalia-sama sighed mentally cataloging all the damage. “I’ll get you a new one. I promise!”

“MOMMY!” Rui bawled, snuggling against Natalia’s breasts, not like a baby would have to her mother’s breasts. She had at least that much adulthood in her.

Aika ignored her sister’s agony entirely and advanced.

I scrambled back, slipping on tea splatters, sodden and torn manga pages, Akuchi’s remaining slime puddles, and shattered pottery.

“Fight me seriously!” Aika barked.

“I AM FIGHTING YOU!!” I screeched.

“NO, YOU’RE FLAILING LIKE A PATHETIC KITTEN AGAINST A SINGLE SLICE OF CHEESE!”

She roundhouse-kicked another folding chair at me.

I dodged it barely and it slammed into Rui’s kitchenette’s counter, knocking over Rui’s spice rack.

Paprika filled the air like red dramatic battlefield smoke.

Akuchi sneezed explosively. “SPICY! SPICY! MY NOSE—!!”

Aika used the distraction to move in.

Her fist came at my face through the plume of pakrika.

And—

And something in me twitched. Something clicked. I’d had enough of her entitled tantrum. Aika was taking Rui-chan’s life apart piece by piece. Unforgivable.

“ENOUGH!”

A familiar sensation filled me. My eyes practically glowed with the change.

Ghost Muscle Memory

My arm lifted before I commanded it to.

Aika attacked and I smoothly deflected her fist.

My hips twisted.

…And angled…

My weight shifted to my back foot, bringing my center low.

Aika threw another punch.

My stance shifted and Aika’s punch missed my cheek by a whisper.

Her eyes widened.

I punched back…
Not wildly…
Not clumsily…
It was a clean hit.

Aika blocked it with both hands. She didn’t merely sidestep it. She had to block.

She backed up two steps, grinning now.

“Well, well,” she said. “There she is. The real woman that Rui seems so affectionate towards. I knew that you couldn’t be a complete loser. Show me more.”

I swallowed hard. 

R-Reiko-chan… let’s not overdo it… She is Rui’s sister, after all.

Aika planted her foot on the stained tatami.

“Now we fight for real, impostor.”

We clashed.

And for the first time, it actually looked like a fight rather than a tragic slapstick performance.

Aika’s movements were sharp, textbook and polished.

Mine were fluid, instinctive, ghost-guided.

She struck with a flurry of jabs and…
I redirected her strikes.

She swept low…
… and I leapt gracefully.

She caught a piece of furniture, this time it was a bookshelf stool. She spun with it, and used it as both a shield and battering ram.

I slid under it.

We collided again. I kicked savagely and knocked the stool out of her hands. It flew into her television set and the screen shattered as smoke rose.

Ume abruptly stopped dancing and singing to rush over and quickly unplug the tv.

“That was close.~” Ume giggled and eyed Rui sympathetically. She was tuning everything out now.

Meanwhile, our forearms slammed against each other in a volley of strikes and counterstrikes.

A shock jolted up both of our arms.

Aika grinned fiercely. “Not bad… Sumire Shinohara.”

I blinked. Aika actually acknowledged me?