1.49: A Small Dream

1.49: A Small Dream

My television murmured faintly through the wall as I stood in my tiny bathroom, holding my last clean pair of underwear like it was a precious relic. Steam drifted lazily from the shower.

In the mirror, Reiko-chan’s face stared back at me.
Her face… her voice… my hair… my body…
It was an uncanny fusion of Reiko and me. I looked like a haunted bishounen who had gotten lost on his way to a shoujo manga.

Would we survive tonight?
Would I survive?

I shook the thought away and stepped into the bathtub. The moment the hot water hit my skin, warmth wrapped around me like a blanket. The temperature was perfect… and the heat sank into my muscles, loosening everything.

Reiko-chan, your murderer will pay! We’ll get him, even though we’re a ragtag militia. No matter what resources you have at your disposal, whatever you did to kill Reiko-chan, I’ll defeat you for her! We will. We’ll beat you! I punched the wall of my bath with gritted teeth.

The water ran loudly to clatter into my bathtub. 

Shhhhhhhhh….

With a sigh I let the streaming water wash away the tension filling my body. Relaxation gradually kicked in.

click

My door nearly silently opened, but I heard it. “Go away, please, Akuchi. You went overboard earlier. Just leave me alone.”

…..

click

My body tensed while I waited for another noise to go off, but my tension eased again when nothing happened. Perhaps it was nothing and my mind had manufactured that clicking noise. I started shampooing my hair. The scent of Reiko’s shampoo clearly came through the cheaper scent added to my regular product, although others would say it was subtle. It had flowery notes that always soothed me best.

I don’t have any experience with fights, but at least I should be clean for whatever happens. If I think a little deeper, this can even be a bit like a purification ritual. But what am I going to do? I can’t fight!

Something shifted behind me and the shower slid open.

I turned, ready to grapple with an attacker…

And gaped.

All of the girls were in the bathroom.

Naked as me.

They all stood just outside the shower —
Except for one.

Seeing her in the corner of my eye, I blinked in shock. Rui was already inside with me. Her small, flat chest glistened faintly in the steam, and somehow she had her own strange allure.

“YAIIIIIII!” I yelped, flattening myself against the shower’s wall. The stream of hot water splashed across my back and shoulders. I stared, blushing so hard I thought my face might combust.

Natalia-sama stood with her angelic features and luminous blonde hair that shimmered under the bathroom lights. Beside her was Ume in all her eerie majesty... her glossy black twintails slid over her breasts like silky curtains. Their sizes were impressive… apparently young, perky, absurdly perfect… despite that fact both were several centuries old.

And creeping closer was Akuchi, in her transformed female body… she had exaggerated curves, enormous breasts, better everything. She always overdid anatomy like she overdid testicle size. Maybe that was a tanuki thing. She slunk forward with a sultry expression.

Ume giggled. “I knew it would be very small. I was right!”

I blinked rapidly, my eyes wide. “Super tiny,” Rui agreed softly, tilting her head. “I’m a lesbian, so I don’t care for that little thing between your legs, but… well, at least it’s good that it’s extremely, extremely, hard to see.”

“I don’t care how small Master’s package is!” Akuchi declared proudly. “It doesn’t matter! All that matters is how you choose to—”

“NOOOOO! Don’t go there!” I flailed, waving my arms wildly.

Natalia-sama laughed. “I don’t mind at all. Hors d'oeuvre are all the rage. Now… let’s dine!”

She pounced.

And in that instant, all of them lunged with her.

“Kyaaaaaaaa!!” I screamed as a tangle of naked limbs, wet skin, soft bodies, and overwhelming chaos smashed into me.

“My head hurts…” I groaned, loud enough that it startled even me. When my eyes blinked open, I rubbed at them fiercely like that would shove my brain back into place. The world spun. Up and down switched places. My whole body flushed hot with embarrassment as fragments of what I thought I saw came roaring back.

…
……
…………

Everyone was sitting calmly in my living room watching television.

They all turned to look at me with matching clueless expressions… as though nothing unusual had happened at all.

“Oh! You’re awake!” Ume chirped, springing to her feet.

I stared at them, stunned. My head throbbed all the more. I clutched my forehead and whimpered.

“That cat’s paw was so hard to catch,” Natalia remarked, frowning slightly as she lifted the broken paw between two fingers.

“W–what are you talking about?” I gasped.

“Idiot!” Rui barked. “You sent that paw flying like a ballistic missile! It spun off your chest so fast it ricocheted around the room like a pinball on caffeine. We all managed to dodge it, except for Akuchi, but it also nailed you in the head and you went down like a sack of laundry. That thing nearly killed me! By the way, you can kiss your deposit goodbye.”

“Eh…?” I blinked, rubbing my scalp in confusion. “But that’s not what…”

My fingers brushed a rising bump.

I yelped. “Yaiiii!”

Then I noticed the room.

Tiny craters dented my walls and ceiling… not deep enough to break through, but absolutely deep enough to suggest tiny bullets with explosive heads had gone wild during a shootout.

The world tilted again.

“Thankfully, you didn’t suffer from a concussion,” Natalia said cheerfully, waggling the detached paw.

“And no internal bleeding!” Ume added with a reassuring smile.

“I… uh… didn’t I take a shower? I think I…” I stammered, scrambling mentally.

“You never made it,” Rui said flatly. “You turned to go, and that’s when the paw struck you at Mach speed. It kept going after it hit Akuchi. He’s fine too, by the way. After you got hit, we gave you a checkup and tucked you in. We weren’t sure that you’d wake up...”

“It was I, who I nursed you back to health, Susumu-sama!” Akuchi cried, lunging into a glomp. “Now that you’re awake, why don’t you take that shower. I would be honored to wash your back like I offered. I’ll use my new—”

NEW WHAT?!

“NO!” Rui yelled.

She teleported. I barely caught her movement.

Although she swears she doesn’t have any spiritual ability…

… and karate-chopped Akuchi across the head.

“Kyaaa!!” Akuchi screeched. “I’m not associating with you anymore, you primitive pygmy—!”

That single sentence earned her three more rapid-fire smacks.

Akuchi yelped, clutching her head. She poofed into smoke and reappeared wearing a metal helmet.

Rui drummed on it like she was testing cookware.

TINK TINK TINK

Natalia clapped her hands lightly. “There’s still some time for you to shower. You should take the opportunity.”

“He doesn’t smell that bad right now,” Ume offered politely.

“It couldn’t hurt.” Rui gave me a thumbs-up. “I’ll keep Akuchi from butting in.”

“You couldn’t stop me if you begged!” Akuchi declared, stomping dramatically. “NOTHING can keep me from Susumu!”

Ume let out a soft whistle. “Wow… that’s obsession for you.”

“How would you like me to help you, RuiRui?” Natalia-sama asked with a bright, serene smile. “I’m sure that I can restrain a certain mischievous little tanuki.”

Akuchi froze mid–victory pose.

I shook my head quickly. “N-no… I’m good. I don’t need a shower, after all.”
It was a lie.
If I went back in there, there was a non-zero chance my dream might literally happen and I might somehow be knocked unconscious again.
I blushed at the thought.

“Fufufu… you blush far too often,” Ume purred, stepping closer. “Every time you do, the air fills with the sweetest scent. Having you around is like owning a mobile air freshener that dispenses delicious aromas on command.”

I turned even redder.

“See?” Ume giggled.

“Okay, since you’re not going to shower,” Rui said, stepping directly into my space and tapping a firm finger against my chest, “let’s talk about why I tested your spiritual ability in the first place.”

My heart thumped.

“It turned out that Reiko-chan had some ability too,” Rui continued softly. “But she didn’t really want to be my partner. Yes, she cared about me… but she had her own dreams to chase. I respected that.”
Her eyes lifted to mine.
“But what about you, Susumu?”

My stomach flipped.
“What do you want from me? D-do you want to… um… um… you… you know G… girlfriend?”
My brain was still wandering in the gutter from the dream.

“What?” Rui turned scarlet and instantly shoved me so hard I toppled backwards. “OF COURSE NOT!”
She stomped her tiny foot.
“Damn it. Your face is hers. I love that… so much… but you’re a man! A man! Dating you is absolutely impossible! It wouldn’t lead to anything sexually-speaking. I do love you, in a way.”

That hurt more than I expected.
“Then… that kiss on my balcony was a lie? There’s nothing you like about me at all?” I muttered. I was getting serious deja vu, now that I knew why Reiko didn’t want me.

“Not at all!” Rui declared, wagging a finger like a schoolteacher scolding a delinquent. “You’re extremely useful! You’ve proven that you’re a great bodyguard. And you made a promise to me, remember? You said you’d be my slave for life! Now that we know you have spiritual power, I’ll have you properly trained… and then you’ll do what my father did. My genius will support and guide you!”

“I’ll take him away before you can use him to prop up your failing detective agency!” Akuchi declared, striking a villain pose. “Don’t doubt my power. He’s a virgin! My victory is assured!  You have absolutely no ammunition. Unlike you, I don’t care about what’s between his legs. I’ll shape my body to match his tastes and… Mwahahahaha!”

“NO!” Rui shrieked. “Susumu is mine! Entirely! His soul and body belong to ME, you perverted creep! I’ll crush anyone who tries to interfere with my success! And I’ll win him to my side without any… any…” Her face turned deep crimson.

I gulped.

“Whew…” I mumbled. Knowing that with these two around, my life wasn’t going to go back to any kind of normalcy.

Abruptly, Rui shook off her blushing and declared. “Natalia-sama will support my ambitions. She said so, didn’t she? So you automatically lose, Akuchi.” Rui chirped, beaming at her.

Natalia-sama nodded sweetly, radiating sunbeams. “Always, RuiRui.”

Akuchi paled, glancing at Natalia, pursing her lips.

“Don’t be so greedy, Akuchi,” Ume said, gliding between them. “We can all share the responsibility. We can share…” She smirked and leaned close, her voice dropping into a velvety murmur. “Personally… I very much enjoy the scents he produces. I might already be addicted…”

My soul left my body again.

Rui clapped her hands sharply. “Let’s get back on track! Someone has to be the leader, so… humbly… I’ll take that role.”
She reached into her purse, scowling as she rummaged aggressively. “We’ll start with this.”

My heart skipped.

She pulled out a jade bracelet with an occult, talisman-like pendant hanging from it. The jade gleamed under the light.

“Give me your wrist, Susumu!” she commanded with absolute authority.

I extended my arm, like a trained dog extending its paw, staring nervously. “Rui… Wh-what exactly are you planning here? I don’t… really bother with jewelry…”

“With this,” Rui announced, her eyes flashing, “an unbreakable bond between us is forged.”

Before I could recoil, she snapped the bracelet around my wrist like a police officer cuffing a fleeing suspect.

It clicked into place.

Her formal tone…
Her flushed expression…
The jade glinting green…

My eyes widened in horror and bewilderment.

Was this…
…not unlike…

A wedding ring?!

Illustrations Disclaimer: Locations aren't always 100% canon. Usually they are only representative. Character features and styles may stray a little now and again.

(I'm currently adding new illustrations to book 1 since its illustrations were sparse due to the technology that was available when I uploaded book 1.)

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