1.26 – Purgatory

During these uncertain days, Leona felt a loneliness she hadn’t since the chest. The inevitable had happened, the inexorable. Leona had even lost Sarah.

Her other friends had made time to spend with her at first, but between Leona’s regularly freaking out and their own romantic relationships deepening, they gradually separated themselves from her, not considering the damage their absence would do to her. Leona didn’t blame them. She wasn’t an easy person to be around when her emotions were in turmoil. But it left her isolated, more than she ever expected.

Diana, Devin and Mia—acquaintances of Quinn’s—had already gone off to college. Leona wasn’t sure exactly which schools, but she knew they weren’t still hanging out in San Isidro. The sudden silence around her felt deafening. The way everyone had slowly drifted away, as though they had all moved on to something more important than her, stung more with each passing day.

Ultimately, this left Leona with little to salve her wounds. Besides her parkour practice, she had no other way to fill the emptiness. So today, she found herself alone again, spending her time leaping her way up the side of a group of buildings near her home.

There were so many condominiums clumped together, giving people like her, with the inclination for risk, plenty of hand and toeholds to work with. For those daring enough, it was an easy climb to the top, where the roofs lined up like a row of jagged teeth, waiting to be scaled.

It was a simple matter for Leona to clamber up to the lowest roof and take a deep breath, letting the cool breeze ruffle her hair as she stood high above the city. This was her favorite part. The feeling of being up here, separated from the world below, where she could see things that most people never would—rooftop views that belonged to those who dared to take the risk. The reward was all in the danger, the thrill of being somewhere others couldn’t reach.

After a few minutes of letting the wind wash over her, Leona spread her arms wide and let her hair fly out behind her like a banner. She took off, running along the rooftop, hopping up onto the low wall at its edge, turning it into a mini tightrope.

Her eyes fixed on the roof she had in mind, just within her jumping range. She smiled softly to herself, her feet finding the right rhythm, her body synchronizing with the movement. She turned her hips and pushed hard into the tar and gravel beneath her, propelling herself toward the edge.

For a split second, she visualized Diana cheering her on, her face so clear in Leona’s mind that it almost felt like she was there. With that image fresh, she kicked off the edge, her body flipping forward.

The world slowed as she pushed herself higher, pulling her limbs close to her body to increase the speed of her rotation. She watched the roof below draw closer, her heart pounding in her chest.

At the last moment, she stretched her body out, landing softly, feet first, on the patch of rooftop she’d aimed for. Her momentum carried her a little farther than she intended, but she easily threw a leg forward to catch herself, taking one quick step before coming to a full stop.

But she didn’t stop there.

Leona licked her lips with a small laugh, already eyeing the next challenge. She wasn’t done yet.

She noticed a set of window sills that led up to the top of the next building, and with a quick assessment, she realized there was a fire escape that would take her straight across. Without hesitation, she leaped across the eight-story chasm between the buildings, her body moving with fluid precision.

Her landing was smooth this time, her feet finding purchase as she ran up the stairs. She reached the top, spotting the window sills, and briefly adjusted her approach.

She threw herself off the fire escape, platforming across the sills, one hand reaching for each hold, her body springing up as she went. But on the fifth step, her balance shifted.

A wave of panic surged through her as her body leaned too far to the side, teetering toward a fall.

Leona cursed herself. I overestimated my skill—she thought.

She had to make a choice. She could bail, leap back to the other rooftop and absorb the impact, but there wasn’t enough time. Instead, her eyes scanned the surface below, landing on a downspout. The idea hit her like a spark. She grabbed it.

Thankfully the spout didn’t give way under her light weight. It absorbed her momentum, and with one strong pull, she used it like a makeshift rope to climb back up to the roof.

Leona paused for a moment, breathing heavily, as the adrenaline buzzed through her veins. What am I doing? she asked herself. I would never have tried such a reckless route if Sarah wasn’t...

The thought hit her harder than she anticipated. Tears welled up in her eyes. She wiped them away quickly, forcing herself to keep climbing. She couldn’t break down, nor give up. Not yet.

When she reached the top, she stopped and stared out at the sunset, the fading light casting an amber glow over the horizon. The ocean was just a few miles away, a reminder of how far she felt from everything she knew.

Leona knew she was avoiding her problems. She knew this was just a distraction, something to keep her mind busy while she pushed everything else aside. But moments like this—standing on a rooftop with the wind in her hair, the world stretched out beneath her—made it easy to forget everything else.

For just a little while, she could pretend she wasn’t falling apart inside. The moment was fleeting, but in it, she didn’t have to face the reality that would inevitably drag her back down.

The tears fell again as she stared at the sky. There was no escaping what she felt.

When the bell rang, signaling that lunchtime had started, Leona looked around the class as she chewed her lip.

The classroom came alive with chatter, the sound of chairs scraping back as students quickly gathered into their cliques or moved toward the doors for the next class. Leona watched them all, feeling a strange sense of disconnection.

Even though there were a few students who, like her, didn’t immediately group up, Leona still felt alone. She was used to seeing groups of people laughing and talking, familiar cliques forming effortlessly. But it wasn’t the same anymore.

Last year, at her old school, her lunch hours were full of laughter and easy conversation. She’d spent them with a group that combined jocks and nerds—people who enjoyed the same sports, the same passion for superheroes and comics, but also shared a love for arcades, beach trips, and movie nights. They’d been her crew. They’d gotten along without question, blending different interests with ease, the way people did when they were comfortable with one another. But now, all that was a distant memory.

The group was no more, and it hurt more than Leona had anticipated.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault, not really. Leona knew people drifted apart, that sometimes relationships faded as people grew or changed. It wasn’t wrong—it was just how things worked. Or at least, that’s what she told herself. Maybe she had ruined those relationships. Maybe she had pushed too hard, too fast, letting her emotions about Sarah’s situation spill out too often. Maybe it had been too much to handle, and they’d left without a second thought, unable to stick around when the drama was all-consuming.

Leona stared at the empty seat next to her, once filled with someone who had been part of the little group of friends that she’d made here. A knot tightened in her chest. Maybe this is just what I deserve, she thought. Maybe it’s because I’m just… too much to deal with.

Everyone knew there was something wrong with her, right? Why else would they always leave? The thought dug deep, slicing through her with the same hollow feeling she had experienced too many times before.

It was the same old story—one that she couldn’t escape, even if she tried.

“Uuugh, you need to chill with this martyr complex thing you’ve got going on,” Quinn teased Leona. “All that gloom and woe-is-you is going to attract some weird people before long. Can’t you find another crew to run with?”

Leona huffed and slumped further into the couch. "It’s not so easy to make new friends, okay? They’re all insulated groups with no room to squeeze in anymore. My best chance was back in my freshman years. If I couldn’t keep any of them by now, that’s just a sign that I’m—"

“Oh, for cryin’ out loud—knock that off,” Quinn said with a laugh before she sprang onto Leona, tackling her to the floor in one swift move. Her hands locked into Leona’s hair as she gave her a series of noogies, grinning the whole time.

“Ow ow ow ow! STOP IT!” Leona yelled, squirming beneath Quinn’s grip. She tried to push her off, but Quinn was stronger, keeping Leona pinned down.

“Nah—not until you get over it and stop being a damned doom cloud. It’s affecting my creativity. I can’t focus on my genius while having to watch you mope like this. Just talk to someone or run some more. That’s supposed to help a ton when you’re depressed.”

“I already tried!” Leona’s voice cracked with frustration. “I nearly broke my neck with that stupid stunt the other afternoon.”

Quinn paused for a moment, staring down at Leona with a thoughtful expression, before sighing dramatically. “Hmmm—I guess I can understand. You don’t know which way to lean.” She released Leona, sitting back on her heels and running a hand through her messy hair. “But don’t forget that your family’s here. We’re here for you.”

Leona's stomach churned, but she couldn’t stop the bitterness that rose to her throat. “Not for much longer.”

“Don’t jinx me! Or be so morbid. Goonie’ll last a long time with our eating habits. Don’t think so negatively.”

Leona sniffled, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know,” Quinn said simply, her voice softer now. She rested her hand on Leona’s shoulder and gave it a brief squeeze. "Nothing we can do about it. If I want to get somewhere in life—and if you do—we’re both going to move out at some point."

Leona frowned, shifting uneasily under Quinn’s gaze. “Do you really have to live in the dorms?” she asked, her voice small. “Can’t you commute or something?!”

“No can do, squirt." Quinn shook her head with a dramatic sigh. "The best music college on the west coast is far to the south in L.A.. Do you think four hundred PLUS miles is a daily commute I want, bonehead?”

Leona couldn’t help but wince. “Yeah—you’re right.” She paused, frustration simmering. "If only that bullet train between L.A. and the sister cities existed already, it’d be okay—but we’re decades away from that—” Leona nodded, almost to herself, as she tried to push the weight of it all aside.

“Well—there’s always flying, but are you going to get a part-time job to pay for my weekly tickets just so you can feel a little less lonely or for yourself to visit me? Makes you a little needy, but I’m up for that.” Quinn flashed her a teasing grin, clearly enjoying the playful jab.

Leona’s face flushed as she rolled her eyes. “Maybe—I’ll think about it—”

“I was joking, idiot. I can’t take that much time over the next four-ish years. But you really should come down and visit me once in a while, though. There’s a ton of interesting things to see and do down in SoCal. Food, amusement parks, freaking Hollywood, restaurant chains that haven't spread to the rest of the country yet, for goodness’ sake! That’s the least of it.”

“I guess it sounds like fun,” Leona muttered, but the idea of visiting seemed distant, like a dream she couldn’t quite touch.

“Hey, I’m not abandoning you here while I ride off to greener pastures.” Quinn nudged her little sister with a playful elbow. “I’m not going there for fun… not entirely. But yeah, we’ll do it when you pop in. Hmm, well, you’ll still have to work for those tickets unless you think Mom’ll cover it. I mean, I gotta somehow take advantage of the fact that I’ll be a poor struggling college art student soon enough, right?” Quinn chuckled, the sound light and carefree, but it didn’t quite reach Leona’s heart.

Despite what her adoptive sister, Quinn, had said to her, Leona still couldn’t shake her feelings about Sarah’s situation or the crushing weight of isolation. Life wasn’t particularly shiny for Leona at the moment.

Looking down at her desk with a morose expression, Leona clumsily doodled in her notebook. Her hand lazily squiggled shapes and images that mirrored her worst fears for Sarah—each stroke a desperate attempt to process the turmoil swirling in her head. The pictures didn’t feel like enough, like they couldn’t capture the suffocating dread she felt.

She sketched a picture of Sarah being forced to work making wallets, a stick-figure representation of her sweating buckets under a harsh sun. It didn’t look right. It didn’t feel right. The image was just a hollow echo of her concern.

Leona moved on from that concept and drew Sarah strapped into a chair, a nurse looming over her with a needle. The syringe was monstrous in Leona's mind, a looming instrument of terror. She winced. Shots weren’t her favorite part of transitioning, and even though she’d endured hundreds, she couldn’t help ascribing a certain amount of theatrical horror to the experience. Things puncturing her skin still made her shiver, every damn time.

“Hey—that’s cool.” The voice came from behind her, soft but insistent. Leona looked over her shoulder, wondering who would dare speak to her in this state. Her gaze met that of the weird girl who always hid in the corner of her English class, a shadow among shadows. Leona barely recognized her but had noticed her lurking in the corners of the room before.

Aughhh—

“It's a death chair, right? The kind used for fatal injections, right?” The girl asked, her voice cold and distant, almost too casual for the subject matter.

Leona blinked. “Oh, jeez—um—not really, but kinda—” She hadn’t thought about it like that. But when she examined the picture again, she couldn’t deny it: the image of Sarah strapped into the chair did have an execution-like feel to it. The thought made her stomach twist, more worried than ever about what Sarah was enduring.

“I like the detail—you can see the needle going in... Got personal experience to draw from with this? I can feel it. Maybe in another lifetime you were a badass criminal and got the injection.”

Leona’s face flushed with a sudden rush of heat. “No way!” she exclaimed, trying to laugh it off. “I’m a hero for life and I doubt in any other life I was a criminal!” But as she spoke, she realized how defensive she sounded. She blushed deeper when everyone else in the class looked at her in response to her outburst.

“My, my—a hero fan, huh.” The girl drew a finger slowly across her lips, studying Leona with a curious intensity. “Leona… Hey, uhh, I don’t know if this will come off as weird, but I kinda think I know what you’re going through.” She leaned in slightly, eyes flicking toward Leona's own. “I know I look awesomely goth, but, seeing the way you’ve been acting lately—I don’t know, maybe we could take the solo goth thing to the next level and make a way bigger dark cloud together.”

Leona blinked, her mind still reeling from the idea of some random stranger reading her so well. The girl didn’t leave it at that, noticing the silence and continuing.

“Hmmm, well, you could probably out-goth me at this point though, maybe I’d cramp your style. You’ve been looking awfully gloomy lately.” The girl’s lips twisted into a smirk, as if she were amused by Leona’s mood. “You used to wear a sickening smile all day long, particularly when you were hanging out with that weird girl and I don’t know, I just figured something was up and thought maybe you might have a use for someone who was willing to listen.” She shrugged as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “Sorry for being blunt here.”

“Weird? Who?” Leona’s voice came out harsh, incredulous. "Who’s weird?"

She was nearly seething at the girl's audacity to call Sarah weird. But the girl didn’t even flinch, staring at Leona with an almost bored expression.

“This girl, Seri? Sierra? You know, that girl you used to hang out with all the time. She had that sappy smile for everyone, every SINGLE day. Way worse than you.” The girl rolled her eyes, mimicking exaggerated sweetness in her tone. “It was like she believed nothing was wrong with anything in the whole wide world.”

“Shut up!” Leona’s voice broke as she stood and got right in the girl’s face, all the anger and hurt she had been bottling up now bursting free. “You don’t know Sarah. She’s just been—sheltered her whole life!” Leona’s eyes started to fill with tears again, and she blinked them away quickly, furious that this idiot had to start talking about Sarah when Leona was feeling so damn protective of her, and so helpless to help.

The girl didn’t even seem intimidated, though. She just looked down at Leona’s face with a soft sigh. “Wow—those are some heavy emotions you’re, um—coping with there.” She shrugged, a little too nonchalant for Leona’s liking, before looking around the room as if she were realizing the whole class had started paying attention.

With a huff, she reached out and grabbed Leona’s wrist, tugging her toward the door. “Come with me. This place is getting kinda stifling.”

Leona’s heart was pounding in her chest as the girl dragged her out of the classroom, and she wrenched her arm free as soon as they were out of sight of the others. “Where do you think you’re—”

“Quiet!” The girl raised a hand and pointed a finger so close to Leona’s face that Leona went cross-eyed trying to focus on it. The girl’s voice was a strange mix of authority and amusement.

“Anyway, I have no interest in being dragged into the scene you were making. Just stay calm, alright? You really wear your heart on your sleeve, you know that?” the goth girl said, her tone slightly mocking but with a tinge of seriousness underneath. “I can tell that something’s up here. That girl’s not chained to your hip for one day and you immediately start horning in on my schtick.” She paused, as if considering something. “Don’t get me wrong, I respect it. Ever since she stopped showing up, that glazed look you get in your eyes has seriously impressed me. But if it’s real, it bothers me, okay? Makes me wanna fix the problem so I can go back to doing my thing.” Maria smiled dryly, a sharp edge to her expression.

Leona was still trying to process the oddity of the situation. Was she... offering help? Was this some weird, backhanded attempt at sympathy or—was it something else? She opened her mouth to speak but then hesitated. What was the point?

“Anyway, if you wanna be the best, you gotta learn from the best, and you’re looking at the best teacher of the Way of One you could hope to find,” she continued, not waiting for a response. “I don’t think you have what it takes, though. Your suffering’s just too real. You’re alone. I don’t give a damn if I’m coming on strong here, but you need to learn how to get by on your own. You’re still not weaned off the company of others yet, so it’s clear you need someone to vent to. So BRING it, I got that shoulder you need to cry on right here.”

Leona blinked, stunned. This whole surreal situation had her so dumbfounded she didn’t even know how to respond. Was this girl offering to be her friend? To be... alone together? What kind of sense did that even make? She barely knew this girl! She certainly wasn’t the kind of person who would have imagined offering comfort, especially from someone like this gloomy girl—someone who seemed perfectly fine being totally aloof, a little detached. Was it just some weird pissing contest where they were trying to outdo each other in misery now?

But from what the girl was saying, it sounded like she didn’t really feel misery when it was staring her in the face. Leona wondered why that was. Why would she not want everyone to be miserable? Was that... was that even normal? The more she thought about it, the more it confused her. She wasn’t used to people acting this way.

The girl seemed to sense her bewilderment, so she smirked and threw in a little afterthought. “Oh, name’s Maria, by the way. Of course you didn’t know that, based on how blankly you’re looking at me. Not that I give a damn why. Everyone’s eyes just flit on past me, like I’m some kinda slip and slide for the mind.”

Leona blinked, her confusion dissolving just enough for a laugh to bubble up unexpectedly. “That’s a funny way to put it. I feel kinda ignored too.”

Maria raised an eyebrow, as if this was exactly the response she had been expecting. “That’s the difference between us. I don’t care. You clearly do.” She raised a finger like she was about to make some grand point. “So you’re a superhero nerd, right? I know just the freak to hook you up with.”

Leona was taken aback, her mind spinning. A superhero nerd? Where was this conversation going? The mention of another “freak” didn’t help clear things up. Was Maria serious? Or was she playing some bizarre game that Leona couldn’t quite follow?

“Well,” Maria added, “if you’re gonna keep wallowing in your emotional mess, might as well make some use of it. Besides, misery loves company, right?” Her lips twisted into a grin, almost too pleased with herself.

Leona stood there for a moment, processing the whirlwind of this conversation. It was the kind of offer you never expected from the last person you would want help from. But somehow, it felt... weirdly like an invitation. To what, she wasn’t sure yet. But Maria had gotten under her skin in a way that no one else had in ages.

During lunchtime, Maria escorted Leona to the lunchroom, and, as odd as her company was, Leona didn’t feel quite as isolated as she had over the last month or so.

“This spot’s occupied!” declared the tuba-like voice of a boy Leona knew in passing. Derrick, if she remembered his name right, spread himself out to fill the side of the cafeteria table he sat alone at when Maria pulled Leona over to meet him.

Derrick was the African-American, slash-a-buncha-other-stuff kid who’d hit puberty like a freight train. His voice was freakishly deep for his age, and the strangest part was that it didn’t match his body at all. He still had the small, lean frame of a younger kid, but his larynx had swollen up like an overripe fruit and hopped around in his throat whenever he spoke. Because of that, his voice always seemed like it was trying to be more grown-up than his body could handle. He was loud enough to be heard across the school, but after people realized he wasn’t a big deal, most just ignored him. They didn’t exactly bully him, but they couldn’t resist teasing him either.

“Yeah—I’m so sure so many people were lining up to sit with you,” Maria shrugged dismissively, eyeing him challengingly. “Just ignore his whining, Leona. His bark is worse than his bite.”

“Hey now! You’re hitting a bro low where it hurts, Maria,” Derrick protested, leaning back in his seat dramatically.

“Don’t talk about low things with that voice of yours. It could win a freaking limbo contest,” Maria shot back, her smirk wide.

“So classy, goth girl,” Derrick countered. “Let’s see how long you can keep those witty comments flowing before retreating into that coffin you hide in your locker on breaks.”

“Hey now, don’t call me a vampire,” Maria said, shaking her head. “They’ve been the wet dream of every two-bit romance author out there since that dweeb, Gloria Dusk, introduced the ‘sparkly’ ones to our world.”

“Hmm—that’s true,” Derrick admitted. “It was like the worst thing that ever happened to America since boy bands. It’s always vampires versus werewolves and light erotica stuff. But honestly, if you put them all against Vanguard—whether they sparkle or not—I bet he’d slap them all silly.”

“And so it begins,” Maria sighed, dramatically gesturing to Leona. “Fair warning, Pandora, you opened the Box on your own.”

Leona, already tuning into their conversation, ignored Maria’s comment and latched onto what Derrick had said. “You know, actually… Vanguard has fought actual vampires and werewolves before, and it wasn’t quite that easy.”

“REALLY?! They exist?!” Derrick’s eyes lit up with shock and excitement.

Maria raised an eyebrow at Derrick. “You didn’t know they existed? Aren’t they, like, right in your wheelhouse?”

Derrick nodded, grinning wide. “Yeah—anything abnormal, from aliens to legends of sunken continents, space, superheroes, it all interests me—and yeah, even monsters. Though, not sure I wanna run into them.”

“I doubt they all exist,” Maria rolled her eyes. “It’s ultra stupid to believe those things have just been lurking around, all low-key. I don’t believe in what I haven’t seen outside movies.”

“But it’s true,” Leona protested. “The heroes attract all kinds of supernatural creatures and other phenomena. We don’t see them much ourselves, but there are accounts of fights against the supernatural long before we started writing about them in fiction—particularly aliens. I heard the Society of Sentinels once dove deep under the Pacific Ocean, found a shelf that satellites couldn’t pick up, and discovered a massive underwater city no one even imagined could be there!”

“That’s gotta be from your comics,” Maria scoffed, her lips curling with skepticism.

Derrick rubbed his chin thoughtfully, looking between Leona and Maria. “I want to believe. I’m a believer, but—”

“Oh? You’ve got some common sense when you try,” Maria teased. “You’re not as hopeless as I thought.”

“I’m a true believer.” Leona shrugged, thumping her chest proudly with a thumb. “Maybe more than anyone else. I just know that anything we can imagine could actually exist out there somewhere, waiting for us to discover it,” Leona said, offering a small, hopeful smile.