01: Meet My Parents

Mother brought our breakfasts to the table. I looked at my father, whose nose was buried in his beloved morning newspaper. The flavor of breakfast sausage filled my mouth as I nibbled idly. I stared at his paper, glaring. The headline caught my eye.

The Corporation Serial Killer Continues to Outrage Tokyo

There was a large picture on the page which depicted an artist's impression of a murderer, which told no one anything.

My father didn’t look at me, but he did something very rare. “Susumu, why don’t you try hard enough?”

By the way, my name, ‘Susumu’, means ‘tomorrow’. My mother gave me a name full of hope and promise. I hated the name. It made promises for me I could never deliver on.

“Ahaha..." I was nervous after having read the article and wondered why he wasn't. I considered the question, puzzled by it coming out of nowhere. “I always do my best, father,” I responded with a ready-made excuse. It’s about my grades? Since when did he bother?!

“You don’t care about my grades... and they’re pretty top shelf quality.”

He nodded and turned his attention to the paper in his hands. The family kotatsu was his favorite place to sit and relax before heading to work. He’d enjoy breakfast, coffee, and within a few hours he’d be off. It was usually a quiet affair. We didn’t speak much. He earned what kept food on our table, and paid for my education, but despite this, neither he nor my mother pressured me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Unlike many parents, mine didn’t push me to figure out what career I’d like to pursue. It was entirely left up to high school. Despite fair marks, I had no answer for what I wanted. They did expect me to do household chores, of course. I didn’t resent it. What bothered me was that he didn’t answer my question.

“Is that all?” I asked finally. It was a question looking for release, but more than that, I really wanted to know more about what his intentions were. I waited impatiently for a while longer, fidgeting and playing with the food on my plate. When he answered, I jumped.

“This girl,” he murmured. “She’s showing up here again, right?” He was still entirely focused on his paper. It annoyed me. Paying me half a mind as usual.

He’d never met Reiko-chan, my best friend. Why would he think so much of someone he’d never bothered to speak to? I swallowed back my resentment.

“Uh, yeah. We’ll probably play a few games.” I looked for a response from him. He still ignored me. He turned a page of the paper in his hands. His paper was more interesting than anything happening around him, as usual. I was amazed, however, that he would even bother to speak with me. I thought about the significance of his words.

“Ah, I see.” His response was simple and straightforward. It didn’t surprise me in the least. After all this drama, his response was so lame! I huffed as I attacked my breakfast. It was delicious. My mother was a great cook, but I enjoyed it a bit less than I would have normally were it not for my frustration. I munched on the sausages Mother had prepared for us, the only food left on my plate. I always saved them for last, I loved them most.

I seethed. My curiosity wasn’t satisfied, and the point of the conversation was still beyond me. I wasn’t one to challenge my father normally, but since the conversation touched Reiko-chan, someone I was intensely protective towards, I couldn’t help asking again.

“Why? Is it suddenly a problem? Because she’s a girl? Could it be because she’s always in my room alone? Did it finally start bothering you? You never cared before! Neither of you say a word about anything!”

He looked up from his paper towards me again, and I felt as though I’d scored a point. I’d finally gotten his attention away from the stupid paper! His head nodded from one side to another. His response was genial.

“No. I don’t care at all about that. I encourage you, actually.” My eyes widened.

I missed the point of what he wants?! WHAT THEN?

Once again I concealed my frustration, but I was still annoyed. Why can’t he just spit it out? “Why, then?”

He ignored me again, turning his gaze to his stupid paper again. “Father.”

Nothing.

I gritted my teeth and stood, walking around the table. I tried to take the paper, but he turned a steely eye on me, and I shrank away from his look.

I recalcitrantly returned to my zabuton, but my teeth still ground. “I’m sorry, but please... let me know what you have on your mind. Why’d you bother?”

Still nothing. Pleading with him had no result.

“Augh!!!” I finally surged up and stomped. I did a silly dance. Anything that would successfully shift his attention away from the paper, no matter how much it demeaned me, I’d do it! I started slapping my butt towards him repeatedly, and my dance became incredibly obnoxious.

He grew more annoyed as I continued to ask. I could tell from his aura, and the quality of the silence deepened. I knew it wouldn’t work out the way I wanted. I did some silly things sometimes. I’d gotten hurt before when I got in this kind of a mindframe. Not by him generally. At school. The way I looked made me look tough. I really actually wasn’t. When I acted like this I was like a mini-Yakuza.

The silence became more ominous as time passed, and I danced on.

I received a response eventually. I froze the moment he spoke. A chill crept down my spine.

“Do you really want me to say it plainly, Susumu? Alright!” He set the paper down firmly with a loud slamming noise.

*SLAM*

He stood, his aura even more menacing than his rigid frame had been. “You’re badgering me! What possessed you, Susumu? You’re acting like a total ass! Are you sure you want what comes next? Are you so desperate for attention?”

I gasped and backed away, reseating myself on my zabuton. “N-no... I probably don’t... ahaha... It’s just, you’re always reading your papers. You never bother.” I looked away, certain I’d opened Pandora’s box with my father this morning.

“You can’t close this door once it’s opened. Listen, son.” My father’s tone was even, far more reasonable than I’d expected considering what I’d done. His tone possessed a gravity which belied his next words. “I wonder if your mother slept with a gorilla. You look like one. You acted like one.” He towered high above me, like a column of pure anger.

Then a larger one entered the room. He turned to look, and his eyes widened. “Ah, wait!”

My mother walked in from the kitchen. He drew back from her with a dread-filled expression. His hands waved. My mother seemed even larger than previously. I drew away, shaking. She put her hands on him. He looked into her eyes. He smiled at her. She smiled back. I thought he’d been forgiven the insult he carelessly threw out. I don’t think he thought it out. Maybe I inherited this kind of behavior from him. She suddenly turned with a handful of his yukata. She bowed and sent him flying to faceplant into the tatami beside the kotatsu.

I gaped. This was the most emotion I’d really seen from them. I’d really opened hell itself.

“Ahahahaha... I’m... yeah..." I made my escape. Suddenly Mother was behind me. I felt her hand on my shoulder. I turned to look into her eyes, with terror in my own face. She smiled at me. I smiled at her.

“Susumu,” she murmured.

I stiffened. “Y-yes, Mom?”

“You were a serious pest. I don’t know who you got this kind of behavior from,” she chided me.

“Y-you were watching?” I asked, my glance angling towards my father who was still put through the tatami.

“I always watch.” She pointed to the kitchen nearby. “Or listen. What was this about?”

I paled. “Oh, um... I just wanted... his attention?” I tried.

“I can believe that, Susumu.” She shook her head, seeming to relax slightly. “But you went too far. You could have just asked me. You know he doesn’t talk much.”

“Y-you know? You knew the whole time?” I stuttered.

“Of course. I know his mind. I don’t know yours. You’re incredibly strange.” She frowned.

“Alright... it’s Reiko-chan. She and he haven’t spoken, but he’s seen her. He approves of her. You aren’t going to catch a wife. In other words... he wanted to say in his own way, why are you sitting doing nothing every day? Have you dated? You’re nearly out of high school. You have no ambitions, you aren’t going anywhere, and the face we gave you won’t earn you anything. Maybe if you went to America you could find someone, but I’d suggest manning up and talking to Reiko-chan.”

I thought about it. She didn’t throw me too, I was thankful for that fact.