Chapter 26 - Dungeon Crawler World

Chapter 26

Dungeon Crawler World

All around us the room went dark and suddenly, myself, my friends, and Sal were in what looked to be a television studio for a news broadcast.  Sitting behind the large news anchor desk was a small lizard-like creature with orange-tinted scales and four beady eyes. It had a set of cue cards in its right hand and seemed to be reading off of them, in some language that I could tell wasn’t from earth, but I was able to understand perfectly when its voice didn’t cut out.  Speaking of, the audio sounded like it was a bad connection, fading in and out, while occasionally being covered by the hiss and crackle of static. 

To our left was a large beastly creature covered in pink fur.  I think it was a female because of how it was dressed. It wore what looked like a lycra minidress, and it was pacing back and forth, clearly screaming at someone over what might have been a cellphone, though we had no audio coming from her.

Matt stood up and walked over to the furry creature and waved his hand in front of her face.  When she didn’t react, he reached out to touch her, only for his hand to pass through her, and where his hand touched became distorted and pixilated before popping back into shape.  He turned back to us and grinned, about to say something then froze.  I realized he was looking past where I sat and I turned to look behind me.

Aaron was there, still sitting on the edge of his bed, gasping in pain and sweating profusely with his eyes closed.  In his remaining hand, he had a large knife that was covered in blood, and where his stump was, there was a long narrow gash.  I stood up quickly and rushed toward him, only to hit an invisible object, a wall, with a heavy thump that made Aaron open his eyes and see us watching him.  I tried to keep my expression neutral but based on the gasp I heard from Mary behind me, and Matt’s sudden “What the fuck?”, I suppose I’m the only one that doesn’t look shocked or scared.  I could even feel shock radiating through my bond with Marv and I glanced to him, to see his eyes wide in surprise.

Aaron quickly put the knife away, said something, but we couldn’t hear.  Then he glowed the deep red of the heal spell we had all been given… speaking of which, I turned to tell my friends about the spell only to have Lynn stop me. 

“I already told them that we all have a heal spell that Simbul forgot to tell us about, Callie,” she said, her voice shaking at the implication of what Aaron had been doing.  Of course, when know about the method Simbul had told me, but knowing it on paper and seeing your friend who had just tried to cut the remaining tip of their arm open are two separate things.

Suddenly around us, the audio cracked loudly and the lizard creature said, “Thank you for bearing with us during these technical difficulties.  It seems Earth’s atmosphere is interfering somewhat with our signal.  Okay, let’s get started.”

Behind the host, there was a huge screen, like the green screen you would see in a real news studio.  It suddenly lit with text declaring, The Squim Conglomerate Presents: The Battle for Planet Aryl!

At some point, Sal had walked over to me and was now standing beside me where the invisible wall was.

 “It’s an overlay,” he said, knocking on the wall.  “Yer not really in their studio.  It’s all jus’ projections to make the viewer feel they’re part o’ the action.  It’ll simulate sight, sound, smell, and temperature of whatever scenes they put us in.”

All around us, there appeared a dense jungle where groups of Gorilla-like creatures, probably a couple hundred in each group, were attacking each other with a blend of melee weapons and what appeared to be plasma rifles.  I could feel the heat with each blast of the guns as the jungle around us shifted to keep up with the group we were following.   It didn’t take long for the battle to be over.  Smoke hung heavy in the hot jungle air, and thousands of mutilated bodies were lying all around.  Of the group we had been following, maybe fifty remained as the text WINNER! appeared over them.  The Gorilla that had clearly been the leader collapsed, sobbing hysterically as a single set of stairs appeared, leading down.  All the other gorillas moved toward the stairs, but the one crying remained.  Once all the others had filed down the stairs, the crying one looked up at the huge WINNER! in the sky and fired several blasts of his plasma rifle at it, then turned the gun around and hooked the trigger with his toe.  As he pulled the trigger and his head disintegrated.  I flinched and the scene shifted.

This time, we were in a cold snowy field in the middle of a blizzard.  The group of gorillas we followed was only made up of only five gorillas, and they marched through the storm as a unit.  Their leader, a larger gorilla with graying fur and a scar over one eye, barked out orders and they set up what looked to be a small ambush site.  Once the site was established, three of the gorillas left, while the graying one and a smaller gorilla remained behind, hidden.  After what felt like a long time, another group of five wandered close by and the graying gorilla popped out of hiding to charge the only one in the new group that appeared to be armed.  The smaller one circled silently around and jumped on the armed one’s back as he raised his plasma rifle to fire at the charging gorilla.  The smaller one began repeatedly beating the one with the gun in the head, eventually causing him to collapse under the assault, meanwhile, the graying was fighting the other four with his fists and feet, but was slowly losing ground.  Suddenly a blast came out of nowhere, disintegrating one of the remaining four.  It was one of the three teammates of the graying gorilla that had left the ambush site earlier.  Between the returning teammate and the smaller gorilla, now armed with the rifle he'd taken from his victim, they managed to take out the remaining three attackers.  Soon, the other two returned with armor and weapons, making the group of five well-armed.  They laid more ambushes and kept looting better armor and gear off of their victims.

“Eh, I ne'er liked the Squim Conglomerate’s seasons,” Sal said beside me.  “They force ev’ryone into the dungeon by destroying the planet's atmosphere.  Make 'em group up on the first floor in groups of a hun'erd thousand, an’ have 'em scavenge for gear and slaughter the other groups.  The group that wins goes to the next floor, gets split into new groups at random, an’ has their gear stripped.  Then they have to do it all over again until the final floor, with five individuals left.  Only one can win.  Poor bastards.”

I turned my attention back to the group of 5 which were engaged in a battle with another group now.  The small gorilla had lost both its legs and was dragging himself forward to fire the final shot of the match, killing the last opposing gorilla.  WINNER! appeared in the air like before and a staircase appeared.  The graying gorilla picked the small one up and carried it down the stairs with him.

“Also, the last match is done with no weapons at all,” Sal explained.  “No weapons, no armor, no healing. Jus’ pure brutality till the end. Leaves a bad taste in me mouth.”

The scene around us shifted and now we were in a large open circular room with the all five gorillas from the last group.  They were all spaced apart evenly.  The area around us was centered on the smaller gorilla.  The word Fight! appeared in air and the four who could still walk charged each other.  The fight didn’t take long.  The graying gorilla beat the other three into a bloody pulp, and once the others were dead, he slowly walked to the smaller one and sat beside him and sighed. 

“I’m sorry, my son,” he said in a language I didn’t know but could somehow understand.  He pulled his son into his lap and cradled him.  “Are there any messages you want me to pass on to your mother and sisters, when I join them?”

The boy, I could see now that the smaller one wasn’t just small, he was young, spoke for the first time since we had seen him.

“Tell them I love them very much and that I will try to make them, and you, proud,” he said, on the verge of tears.

The graying gorilla nodded. 

“I’ll tell them.  Now, do exactly what I told you to do when we came to this floor.  Make it quick, my son.”

The younger one reached up like he was going to hug his father, and in one swift motion, snapped the neck of the older one.  As the father’s body went limp and fell over to the side with the son on its lap, the word WINNER! appeared one last time and the scene around us faded back into the News studio we had seen earlier.

“And what an exciting season that was!” the lizard said cheerily.  “I know you all are looking forward to the highlights of the last thirty hours, but we have a format to follow here.  Before we move on to the fun stuff, let’s have a brief history of the planet Earth, where our latest season, sponsored by the Borant Corporation, is taking place.  I now turn it over to Cascadia, the official announcer for Dungeon Crawler World: Earth.”

“Thanks, Jack!” said a cheery female voice as the scene shifted to what looked like a small mudskipper wearing a collar that was constantly splashing water over its gills.

“Earth is a relatively small, predominantly water-covered planet orbiting a rather unremarkable yellow star.  Located in an otherwise uninteresting corner of the galaxy, this seemingly peaceful world is home to one of the most astonishingly violent and destructive species ever encountered by the Syndicate!”

Behind her, a beautiful image of Earth appeared, slowly rotating against the darkness of space.

“Meet Homo sapiens, or as they prefer to call themselves, humans!”

The image changed to a group of prehistoric humans hunting a mammoth.

“Despite lacking natural weapons, protective armor, venom, or even particularly impressive teeth, these remarkable creatures somehow managed to establish themselves as the dominant species of their entire planet!  How did they accomplish such an extraordinary feat?”  Cascadia leaned forward, her enormous eyes bulging with excitement.  “Why, through an almost unparalleled enthusiasm for killing things, of course!”

The image shifted to prehistoric hunters throwing spears at enormous animals.

“From their earliest days, humans demonstrated a remarkable talent for transforming otherwise harmless objects into instruments of death!  Rocks became clubs!  Sticks became spears!  And once they discovered fire, they immediately began finding increasingly creative ways to use it against everything around them!”

The footage shifted again, this time showing ancient armies clashing beneath banners.

“As their civilizations developed, so did their methods of slaughter!  Humans invented organized warfare, slavery, gladiatorial combat, public executions, and an astonishing variety of torture devices!”

A Roman gladiator drove his sword into an opponent. 

Wait!  Isn’t that a scene from Gladiator?

“Entire civilizations rose and fell through conquest!  Their most celebrated historical figures were frequently individuals who distinguished themselves by killing extraordinary numbers of their fellow humans!”

The scene changed to medieval knights charging across a battlefield.

“And the weapons!  Oh, viewers, the weapons!  Humans simply couldn't stop inventing new and exciting ways to murder one another!”

Cannons fired across a battlefield.  Musketeers exchanged volleys.  Soldiers charged through clouds of smoke.

“When blades and arrows became insufficient, humans developed firearms, explosives, artillery, and eventually weapons capable of destroying entire cities!”

The footage transitioned to the trenches of the First World War.

Now I know that is from ‘Paths of Glory’.  They are using our film as fact.

“In a particularly enthusiastic period of their history, humans engaged in not one, but TWO conflicts so extensive that they named them World Wars!”

A mushroom cloud rose above a city.

“The second of these magnificent demonstrations of human ingenuity resulted in the deaths of tens of millions of their own species!” Cascadia paused.  “And yet, despite possessing weapons capable of exterminating their entire civilization, the humans somehow managed to resist the temptation!”

She gave an appreciative little shake of her head.

“Mostly.”

The screen changed to footage of a devastated city.

“But their destructive creativity didn't end there! Oh, no! As their technology advanced, humans began developing increasingly sophisticated methods of destroying themselves!”

A metallic skeleton with glowing red eyes emerged from a wall of flames.

They are adding Terminators into the mix now?

“Consider their development of autonomous mechanical soldiers!  These remarkable killing machines eventually became so efficient that they attempted to exterminate their own creators!”

The scene shifted to a futuristic battlefield, where machines were hunting fleeing humans.

“Of course, the humans responded in their traditional fashion: by developing even more weapons!”

The screen changed again.

“This species' ingenuity was not limited to mechanical threats, however.  Humans also developed an extraordinary fascination with biological warfare!”

A laboratory appeared, followed by footage of shambling corpses staggering through a ruined city.

“In one particularly unfortunate incident, human experimentation resulted in the dead returning to life with an insatiable appetite for the flesh of their former companions!” Cascadia's voice rose with excitement.  “Imagine that, viewers!  A species so dedicated to killing one another that even death couldn't persuade them to stop!”

A zombie lunged toward the camera.

“Fortunately, humanity proved remarkably adept at dispatching these unfortunate creatures, often employing firearms, improvised explosives, and blunt instruments!”

The footage changed to a man swinging a barbed-wire-wrapped baseball bat.

“Although some humans apparently enjoyed the process rather more than others!” Cascadia giggled.  “But perhaps the most remarkable aspect of human civilization is its seemingly limitless appetite for dangerous creatures!”

The screen displayed a lush tropical island.

“Having already driven numerous native species to extinction, humans eventually decided that their world simply wasn't dangerous enough!”

A gigantic dinosaur emerged from the trees and roared.

“So, they resurrected enormous prehistoric predators and confined them in recreational facilities where their offspring could observe them!”

The dinosaur lunged toward a fleeing vehicle.

“As you might expect, this occasionally resulted in unfortunate incidents!”

A second dinosaur burst through a fence.

“Nevertheless, humanity continued pursuing ever more exciting opportunities to place itself in mortal danger!”

The screen abruptly changed to a dark spaceship corridor.

“And when their own planet could no longer satisfy their appetite for danger, they turned their attention toward the stars!”

A grotesque, elongated creature emerged from the darkness.

“Here we see one of humanity's earliest documented encounters with an extraterrestrial life-form!”

The creature opened its jaws, revealing a second set of teeth.

“Rather than retreating from such obviously hostile organisms, humans repeatedly sought them out, frequently attempting to capture, study, or weaponize them!”

The footage changed to soldiers firing into a dark corridor.

“The results were predictably spectacular!” Cascadia clapped her little fins together.  “But perhaps the most fascinating aspect of human civilization is that its citizens did not require external threats to satisfy their bloodlust!”

The screen shifted to a group of people standing in a brightly colored arena.

“Humans developed elaborate competitions in which participants were forced to fight one another for the entertainment of spectators!”

A young woman raised a bow toward an unseen opponent.

“Some of these competitions involved children!” Cascadia leaned toward the camera.  “Yes, viewers! Children!”

The scene shifted to a group of terrified contestants wearing numbered green tracksuits.

“Others involved elaborate contests in which financially desperate humans competed in seemingly innocent childhood games, with failure resulting in immediate execution!”

A giant mechanical doll turned its head.

“Red light!”

Gunfire erupted.

“Green light!”

Cascadia laughed delightedly.

“And you thought our entertainment industry was creative!”

The footage changed to a masked figure standing in a darkened suburban street.

“Humanity also possessed a fascinating tradition of celebrating individuals who hunted and murdered their fellow citizens!”

A second masked figure appeared, carrying a chainsaw.

“Some of these individuals became so famous that their exploits were documented across numerous installments!”

A third figure appeared, holding a bloodstained knife.

“Remarkably, certain killers continued their activities despite sustaining injuries that would have incapacitated ordinary members of their species!” Cascadia shook her head admiringly. “Such determination!”

The screen changed to a city engulfed in flames.

“And when ordinary murder became insufficiently entertaining, humans occasionally organized entire evenings during which their citizens were encouraged to slaughter one another without legal consequences!”

A group of masked people marched down a street carrying weapons.

“Truly, an extraordinary civilization!”

The footage faded, replaced by the slowly rotating image of Earth.

“Of course, viewers, these are merely a few examples from humanity's long and colorful history,” Cascadia's expression grew serious.  “Consider what we've learned about these remarkable creatures.  They have spent thousands of years perfecting weapons, developing increasingly sophisticated methods of torture, resurrecting prehistoric monsters, creating autonomous killing machines, and occasionally unleashing armies of their own undead!”  She paused dramatically.  “And yet, despite all of this, their civilization continued to flourish!”

The image of Earth slowly turned red.

“So, what happens when such a species is finally given access to the greatest competitive arena in the galaxy?”  Her enormous eyes widened.  “What happens when creatures who have already mastered the art of slaughter are given magical abilities, extraordinary equipment, and an entire Dungeon filled with enemies they're not merely permitted, but encouraged to kill?”

The image behind her exploded into a montage of battles, monsters, and collapsing buildings.

“Will humanity's legendary brutality allow them to conquer the Dungeon? Will their extraordinary talent for destruction prove sufficient against the challenges awaiting them?” She leaned in closer, almost conspiratorially.  “Or will these self-proclaimed masters of violence finally discover what happens when the rest of the galaxy decides to play their favorite game?”

A dramatic musical fanfare erupted.

DUNGEON CRAWLER WORLD: EARTH

“Brought to you by the Borant Corporation!”  Cascadia raised her fins triumphantly.  “Let the slaughter begin!”